Aug 26, 2009

School, Mutilation of People's Childhood Memories, and Webcomics

Hey. Yeah, hey, you there. Sitting on the other side of this screen, yes you. I see you. How's it going? Oh, well that's good! Me? Well, I'm not dead, so that's always a plus. I'd like to personally apologize for neglecting this blog, and you. Yes, you. I have deprived you of my mediocre writing skills. (Brad, how could you!?!?) But I'm back! And I'm here to blog, so... read. Read! READ!

It's the end of August, and what's that mean!? School is back in session. (Alice Cooper lied to us!!! How dare you?) Now, I love hanging with all my friends, but I'm not loving the homework. That's part of the reason I've been so out of the blogosphere lately. My schedule has been Wake Up, Eat, School, Homework or Marching Band, Eat, Sleep, Repeat. But I'm really enjoying my new teachers. I had to do a PSA on Lab Safety for Biology, and here are the bloopers. (Original video link is red.) I had so much fun making that. Best assignment EVER!

If you remember this far, think back to 2005, when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was released. Yes, i mean the remake starring Johnny Depp and other people you haven't heard of. Now, I'm sure you're all thinking to yourself, that was... very interesting. Way to screw up my childhood happiness. Now, if you know the Willy Wonka Slogan, say it to yourself. "What will they think of next?" Quickly, think about a Disney movie that was based on a book by Lewis Carroll. Yes, if you thought of Alice in Wonderland, you are correct! Tim Burton has decided to screw up your since of innocence once again by recreating this timeless classic. And what better way to generally mess with someone's head than casting Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter?

Oh, I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the little Children's screams. I've also heard rumors of a dark Wizard of Oz. I think people are just trying to scare people with Children stories now. Directors are trying to outdo each other in the creepy factor. Congratulations Tim Burton, I have a feeling you'll win this battle.

Ahh, webcomics! I love webcomics so much. And I'm not talking about the political ones, because I've heard enough politics for a while. I'd much prefer listening to music. I'm talking about the ones that are intentionally dumb, or funny. I'll list some of the comics I frequent here shortly. I'm talking about stuff like this:
Ahh, XKCD, you never fail me. Here are the 3 comics I frequent.

XKCD: More for the computer-geek demographic.
Wondermark: There's really no demographic here, just hilarity.
Cyanide and Happiness: This is ok usually, but its really dark at times. So, I suggest the other 2 first.

So, there you have it. I hope you enjoy. Come back for seconds, or thirds. Or 21sts. Or however many you want. Just come back and read. Enjoying it is good too, but as long as you read it, its all good. See you soon, Brad.

Aug 12, 2009

2012, 2012, and 2112

Hello, if you think that the title to this post is Binary, you are both an idiot, and know nothing about binary. Yes, those ARE 2's up there, so binary is an impossible explanation. If you don't know what I'm even talking about, well you're just made of fail then, aren't ya?

Everyone will DIE on 2012. They will stop what they're doing and burn. Just burn. And die. Death. Apocalypse. Death. More death. Everything gone. Dead. Everywhere. Ponies. Pancakes. Death. Annihilation. More ponies. Waffles. Death. OKAY, so we aren't going to die. There's no reason to worry, especially considering the main reason everyone is freaking out. Ok... the Mayan Calender happens to end on December 21, 2012. Whoopdee freakin doo. Wait, weren't we all supposed to die a few years ago anyway? What? We were? Um, so am I dead, or did it not happen? That's what I thought! I personally will be throwing a party on that day if I'm in town, because we won't be dying, and if we somehow do, it'll be all together! Any of my friends that are reading this, party at my place on Dec. 21st 2012.

Speaking of, someone has decided to make a movie about this 2012 theory. I don't know much about this movie, but it looks kind of dumb. I think the creators believe a giant water monster is coming to eat the world. A boat crashes into the White House and destroys it. Oh, according to this poster, the water monster joins forces with the land and street monster, in what I can only imagine to be a horrible make-shift transformer. Even better, its being released on November 13, 2009, a few days after my birthday! It looks like a heart-warming flick that will find it's way into the hearts of millions as the year's most powerful tear-jerker. The creators/ marketing staff of this movie have made a website where you can join a "lottery" to see if you will be one of the few people saved from the catastrophe that is 2012. There is a graph that shows approximately how many people have joined in this lottery, and how many "tickets" are left. They say they are reaching maximum capacity, meaning you can no longer get "tickets," but if you ask me, THIS, doesn't look like it's reaching maximum capacity.It looks as if Australia is a bit worried about this. We'll see how things turn out...

2112 is not a year. It's an album... by Rush. What!?!?!?! You haven't heard of Rush? You really ARE an idiot, aren't you? (I realize I'm insulting my fan-base right now. It's ok, they can take it.) I will update my playlist with songs from said album. I don't have too much to say about this, I just thought I'd keep the number thing going, and update my playlist, because I got beat to it by a certain someone!

Thanks for reading this, even though it wasn't very thought out or well done. This post isn't nearly as good as some of my others, so I'd read those instead. I promise my next post will be better. I swear to it. So stay tuned! No, NO! Put that remote down! You can not change the channel! No changing th... And now we're selling this beautiful one of a kind blue pearl necklace for a cost of $20.99. 6 payments of that. Yes, this could be yours for the low low pri... Really? The Home Shopping Network? You should be ashamed.

Aug 2, 2009

9, Typography, and Empty spaces

Hello, and welcome to another exciting edition of "The Blog No One Reads!" I'm your host, also known as the author, or Brad to some. If you don't know the rules, they're simple. Read my blog and you win. Don't read it, and we both lose. And I don't like to lose. I'll (insert cliche term meaning "You will either die or be beaten up by my friends in the Mob" here) if ya know what I mean.

9. Simple as that. One less than 10, one more than 8. 9. Not to be confused with Nine. 9 is a movie coming out this year that I am really looking forward to. So, it comes out in 2009. Can you guess what day it comes out? If you guessed anything other that September 9th, I will have to kill you and try to preserve what little common sense you have. Think about it, it's a movie called 9. So it makes since to release the movie on Sept. 9th. People will remember "I want to see 9 on 9/9/09." It's all a major marketing scheme. 9 is really difficult to explain, so I'll just let you look up the short film on Youtube. This movie is going to be simply amazing, if previews prove correct. It's being directed by Shane Acker, the director of the short film, and produced by Tim Burton (we all know him) and Timur Bekmambetov, most known for directing the movie Wanted. If the fact that Tim Burton is producing isn't enough, the trailer for this contains the song Welcome Home by Coheed & Cambria, and the MPAA has rated this ANIMATED movie as PG-13 for Violence and "scary images." So this should be an amazing movie, and I recommend you go see it. Ya know, when it comes out in September. Here is the the trailer for the movie 9. And here is the original short film to give some background on the story. Oh, and here is the trailer for the movie Nine that comes out in November that you don't want to see. It looks like a musical about making a musical...

Anyone ever heard of typography? It's pretty cool, actually. You basically make pictures with words or letters. There's not much to say on the subject, I just thought a few people might be interested in checking some stuff out. It's not an easy feat, but the results are pretty cool. You can find all sorts of typography everywhere, good and bad. You just have to search a bit. There are some videos of typography that are cool too.

This Space Intentionally Left Blank

And that brings me to my next point. YOU CAN'T WRITE ON THE SPACE YOU INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK THAT YOU INTENTIONALLY LEFT IT BLANK!!! That just doesn't make sense. How can something be blank when there is obviously something on the page?! That's... how can I even compare that to anything? The irony is just too much. It's like wearing a shirt with the phrase "I'm not wearing a shirt." written on it. It's like a No Right Turn traffic sign right under a One Way sign pointing to the right. It's like telling people you are a strong activist for Animal Rights as you sit there eating a breakfast consisting of Eggs, Steak, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, and a Pork Tenderloin Biscuit. It just makes me want to pull my hair out!

Well, that's all for tonight. I hope that was informative, although I'm not sure what the moral is. Oh, yes I am. The Moral is: DON'T WRITE ANYTHING IN A SPACE YOU WANT BLANK! And for the people who recognize any mistakes in my blogs *coughdadcough*, I DO know the difference between Your and You're, as well as the differences between They're, Their, and There. And Two, Too, and To. Well, I better be done for now. I'll blog again soon enough, and you'll enjoy it! See ya!